Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The big drop

Out from my office window towards the hospital

So at 3pm today it was a hot and muggy 76 degrees and at 4pm it was a windy and c-o-l-d 61 degrees just after the storm passed.

The hospital looked like a ghost ship during the storm and I felt for the folks who sprinted across the parking lot without umbrellas. I hate that cold wet feeling.

Got the call from PR today and they want to follow the CI journey and turn it into a story! I told them out would step out of my comfort zone and blog raw data about what I feel and what is going on as I get cyborged.

I have to admit the Rebuilt book is really helpful because too much of it is what I've felt. The loneliness of not going somewhere because there would be too much noise and you just can't hear voices enough to understand. Actually I can hear voices but I don't understand. It's an insane sort of feeling. Serious, my hands sweat sometimes when I go into a meeting just because I wonder if I'll be able to hear.

Another fear is going to happen next week. Terri and Tyler will be going down to FL to see Terri's folks. Emmy and I will be here at home. So what's the fear? At night I can't sleep because I'm afraid something will happen and if Emmy called out to me for something, not that she has in years, I wouldn't have my hearing aid on to hear her. It's a "what if" sort of feeling.

Yes, I'm looking forward to the surgery and the real start of the CI journey and yes, I have really high expectations. One of the things Rebuilt mentioned what that the author listened to Winnie the Poo and read along in the book so he would learn the sounds that go with the words. First thought, "what a cool idea". I bet it's all part of the therapy.

I was surprised when Speech Path called and asked if it was OK that my Speech Therapy appointments were not the same day as my Audio appts. Speech therapy?! My speech is fine. OK, thick country southern accent but fine otherwise! HA! Sorry but you can't take the south out of this boy. I'm interested to see what I'll be doing in speech. I know it will be repeating words and sentences I suppose. Oh man, just thought of something... please Lord, don't let it be those same words I have to say in my hearing test!!!
Say the word baseball
Say the word hot dog
Say the word sidewalk
Say the word 'night y'all!


Abbie said...

How I wish those words were on those test! They really throw us for a loop :)

Jennifer said...

I've been going to the audiologist for thirty years. I went several years (like, 25 or so) without needing their services and was AMAZED when I went back to find the same words on the list that were there when I was four years old!!!
The emotions you describe...been there, done that. There are some places I just won't go because I can't hear well...and some places that I have to go, but sweat the whole time I'm there.
I have high expectations, too, although they caution against that. I can't help it. Truth is, though...that anything at all will be better than nothing. What I have with my first CI has given me back so much!
I think it's awesome that PR wants to follow your story! It's a great story...well worth sharing! :)