Monday, July 31, 2006
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's ARKANSAS -- the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests The people from ARKANSAS are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in PINE BLUFF." _______________________________________________
A ARKANSAS BLESSING
Note: If you are not a resident of ARKANSAS or never have lived in the hot, humid South, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in ARKANSAS, Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
HOLD IT............there's more.................... ____________________________________________________
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN ARKANSAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah, what a place to call home.
God Bless Our State of ARKANSAS!!
As my normal self, the POP ride would have been great fun as it was for the other folks. In case you were wondering what the acronyms are:
POP = Perryville, Othello (sp?), Petit Jean
Epic = Every Pedal Is Challenging
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Yes, it's the big bridge that goes over Murry Lock and Dam. It's really called the big dam bridge. I know, I know but that's what they called it.
Well it's Friday night and Terri and Emily have gone over to shop a moment. Terri and I both had a good day at our workplaces so we were in the mood to go run around. We headed over to Corky's BBQ for dinner and Emily and Sean met us there. It was Ok but nothing really to write about. I won't go into all the details but I'll just say we won't be going back at lease for a while.
After we ate Emily went to Sean's so he could play his video game. I suspect this won't last a lot longer before she tells him she's not going to sit there every night while he plays his game. She's just not someone who would take that for very long. So she met Terri back here and they went shopping. I also told Sean at dinner tonight that he needed to take make arrangements to take his dog home. It's just too much to have 2 dogs and Max growls at Sadie all the time. This isn't what we were expecting when we got a dog, let alone another dog (boyfriend's dog). Maybe I would see it in a different light if Sean helped with him a lot more but it's sort of like a divorce dad set up. You know, see them a little, help just enough. We've paid for all the dog food that I know of, Emily cleans the backyard and gets up with them at night or early morning. It's just not a good thing so some changes are coming. Max is a good dog if it were just him but he is terriorial and that's a problem.
Ok back to good stuff.... so Terri and I went to Home Depot and they had throw rugs for 99 cents so Terri had to nab a couple. I picked up a new air conditioner filter and light bulbs for the lights by the garage. Oh man, I forgot garage door opener batteries! Crud!
We then went to Barnes and Noble and I got a Java Chip Frapp and we sat in the cafe (all the good lounge chairs were taken) and read books. Terri bought hers. I picked up a book I started at the Barnes and Noble in Denver back in December and even found the chapter I ended on. Terri told me she would buy it for me but I said it would ruin it because I was going to keeping picking that same book up and read the next chapter the next time I'm in a Barnes and Noble. Since we might go down to the beach for the Labor Day weekend then I might pick it up in Destin and read somemore. Maybe i'll finish it in a few years. Fuuny, quirky little adventure with a book huh?!
After our date we returned home and Em pulled up right after us and her and Terri are shopping at whatever stores stay open after 9pm. I did get to catch a little of the Larry King Live with Floyd Landis. He's innocent and they'll prove it. Just watch and mark my words.
Am I riding tomorrow? You bet but not sure when and where. It will be in the morning and it will be sticky humid. right now it's 85 outside with 77% humidity so the heat index is 95 at 9:45pm. I walked outside while ago and I beleive it. Yuck.
Y'all have a great weekend!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
about 30 emails in a matter of minutes because "sample A" tested positive on Floyd Landis for higher level of testosterone. He will make them check "Sample B" now. Come on Floyd don't do this to us. We all have these cool looking GO PHLOYD Phonak t-shirts. Don't make us use them as car wash rags.
It's also raining and will probably rain off and on until tomorrow. That will make me 3 days off the bike. At least the legs will be fresh for the weekend rides. There is a ride starting Sunday morning and will conquer 3 mountains. Real big hills I tell ya. I'm wanting to try that really bad.
I also have a chore list that seems to be growing by the day so I've got to get it done before I go play.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I'm confessing, I'm not going to lose the weight I want to lose before HH100. I was given a box of fudge made by my daughter's boss today. I could have eaten the whole thing. I had tacos for dinner then vanilla cappo and a cream horn. PLUS... the Next Generation 6 DVD box set was in my mail box. (www.meccasports.com). It's the story of the north Arkansas Champion Cycling team. 30 races. Parts of it are really quirky like the 2 girls that are the commentators have the last names of Liggett and Roll. They read the script cards that are over the camera so they are not looking at the viewer but... if you can get through that part seeing a lot of familiar faces racing on TV (such as Hunter East of CARVE who attacks and wins the race... classic East style) is really pretty cool. And there is a Wichita, KS race and at the end there is a guy standing on the road as the riders come through and the wind has got to be at least 30mph...at least. His clothes were flapping so hard. I watched the first two and it's sort of like watch the Tour de France as in you know you need to get up and do something but you can't stop watching. I hope these guys continue to make DVD's like this.
When I sat down on the sofa after dinner my wife and daughter just sat there and stared at me for a minute and finally Emmy Say, "Dad? Are you not riding?" I said, "No. I know, it's been 2 days now." Hey, I might as well have said, "Gibb-a-di-dookie-do-dah" from the look I got. They seemed to think I'd lost my mind. Oh well, if it's not raining tomorrow after work then I'll be out there.
My neice and her husband have picked names for their wins. Keaton Gardner Halford and Elliot Emery Halford. Very cool classic names. I really wanted them to name them something like Meryan and Rylissa.
Post Tour blues have hit! Then I checked www.velonews.com to see the guys of Toyota-United are still winning and winning!
Friedick (left) and Haedo celebrate their one-two punch. I'm hoping to go to CA to visit my nephew in Feb 07 while the Tour of California is going on. Then these guys will be back in our state in May 2007.
It's really been fun to watch these guys from the beginning last winter. I've about worn out my Toyota-United t-shirt that I got when they were at Joe Martin Stage races in Fayetteville this past spring.
Cyclists upset road access cut; system stresses security aspect
BY JAKE SANDLIN ARKANSAS DEMOCRAT-GAZETTE
A gate recently added at the back entrance of the Eugene J. Towbin Healthcare Center in North Little Rock has a city alderman fending off complaints from bicyclists who use the road for training. The gate, erected July 14 on the Veterans Affairs hospital’s property, is a security measure for the medical campus, said Laurie Driver, a spokesman for the Central Arkansas Veterans Healthcare System. Before the gate was installed, she said, the hospital coordinated the closure with North Little Rock emergency responders, including police, fire and ambulance services. “We have had a few security issues,” Driver said. “The atmosphere of open campuses has changed over the last few years and we have had to adjust with that.” The gate is located at the campus entrance where Hill Road comes up from Fort Roots Drive, which can be accessed from either 18th Street or Paul Duke Drive and Julian Street. The gate is closed between 6:30 p.m. and 5:30 a.m. Monday through Friday and all day on weekends and holidays. Bicyclists usually use the hilly, twisting streets for rides and road training during the evenings and weekends and continue through the campus. Pulaski Technical College is on the north edge of the hospital grounds. “I am getting complaints, yes,” said City Alderman Charlie Hight, an avid bicyclist. “There are riders who ride every Thursday night and utilize the Fort Roots hills for training. Bikers love it because it’s a place to train. Also the view overlooking the [Arkansas] river is spectacular.” Hight added that he wants to work with hospital officials to see if the gate’s hours could be extended to 8 p.m. “Some of the bicyclists like to go that way because it’s a pretty stout climb for training purposes,” said Bob Rhoads, the city’s Parks and Recreation director. Driver acknowledged that some “bike folks are not happy about that.” “We’re not saying bikers can’t use that entrance, it’s just that the back gate is closed after hours and on weekends and holidays,” she said. The hospital granted an easement to the city through another part of its property years ago that is fenced off as a bike path, Driver said. The road isn’t part of the city’s River Trail bike path along the Arkansas River.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Honey, that ain't no water hose, that's my bike! Very cool huh?
Yep, either a stunt gone wrong and the rider washed down stream or it's a stolen and trashed bike.Chris and Jenn Shaw's clothesline. Friends you know I'm not lying!
I picked up some new replacement cleats for my shoes during lunch today and of course it couldn't be something easy. There was a 6 car pile up on I-630. Folks just standing around in the interest just after it happened. After I got my cleats I headed back down and right into the traffic jam. 20 minutes snailing through traffic.
Ok the truth is I spent some time reading blogs from UK, Aussie and some I didn't even know what the words were and I stoled all these photos.
I found another website called www.wreckedexotics.com and it's all really nice cars that have been wrecked. Sort of like watching Spike TV. Manhood at it finest! HA! Funny story: I was half typing and half watching TV and typed in exotics rather than wrecked exotics and boy oh boy.... wrong site...
Monday, July 24, 2006
I took a ride down and back 2 times on the river trail for 30 miles. Lots of folks out riding. Saw friends and stopped and talked to folks here and there. I did see one nasty accident scene just after it happened. Going up the curvey hill a guy went off the path and his road bike hit the gravel and he hit the pavement. He had a nice stream of blood running down his arm. He had freinds with him and I stopped to check to be sure he was ok. He would be. It was probably his first real crash and that's always a shocker. Just as I got out of the shower Terri got home and had Friday's Pecan Crusted Chicken salad for me. Oh man, if you've not had one you're missing out!
Sunday, July 23, 2006
After lunch I went out in the garage to fix my weedeater except it has a flywheel that I can't get off so I'll take it to the shop and hope to get it back by fall.
But while I was out in the garage I moved my bike and front tire was completly flat!? It was fine when I rode yesterday and rode home from the ride. I looked more closely to find a big crunk of my tire missing! How on earth did I get home from the ride? It must have happened just seconds before I got to the driveway. Also yesterday afternoon when I rolled the bike from the front porch into the garage I don't rmemeber it being flat. This is beyond me! I pulled out the folded tire that I had bought last summer for my tour and I opened it up and am letting it form a little before putting it on. I was planning to get new tires before HH100 anyway. After last years Ride the Roses diaster (3 flats) I will never ride a long ride out of town on "seasoned" tires. I have gotten a little over 3K out of that tire so not bad.
If I ride today it will be at sundown due to working with the church this afternoon doing the homeless cookout. Thank goodness it cooled off because I really thought I was going to be working outside at the cookout in the innercity in 105 degree heat.
Oh yeah... how about our man Floyd!!!!!!! Way to go PHONAK!! (Yes, friends, I've had coffee so no Lloyd's today) HA
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Oh I accidentally loaded the photos in reverse order. The photos start with the end of the ride.
John and Jo
See they were all lovey dovey even before the ride started. Oh yeah and they were late! (Wink wink)
2006-07-22 1st HH100 Training Ride
Have you ever woke up and felt like you shouldn't get out of bed...
We had a total of four flats before the ride even got started. By 10am, we had fought a hellacious head wind, had a crash, another flat and had a grand total of 25 miles. We decided at this pace we might be in by dark so we cut the ride down to just fifty-five miles to make it in by noon.
We have found a new superstar in Mr. Paul Bentley. He had a heck pull into those winds and you could hear Jennifer behind him telling him how bad we needed him at Hotter N Hell. Paul, you might as well pack your bags. She doesn't give up easy!
A special thanks to Mr. Monte Cole (President of BACA) for riding with Fast Girls & Slow Guys. He had a nice pull himself.
Also, if you didn't make this ride you missed the best rest stop of the year. Paul & Candice Wright (Wayne's sister & brother-n-law) showed up with ice cold drinks, watermelon, grapes, oranges, bananas, pickles, & Famous Amos cookies. Plus, they let us draft behind the Ford Expedition at 30 plus miles per hour. Now that was fun!
Robb, you're up next on 7/30th Sunday morning at 8am for Hotter N Hell training...see you there!
Thanks a bunch,
Yale D. Funk
Friday, July 21, 2006
If that wasn't bad enough I called John's wife Denise rather than Diane.
It's the heat... yeah, that's what's causing this... the heat.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Well tonight was picture night and I spent more time trying to get in a good place to take pictures then riding. I actually cut the ride short to get back to a good place to get the front group climbing but oh no... They actually caught me and passed me before I could get into place. The skill/fitness level of our club is so awesome this year. I find myself dropping of the back all the time but I still will ride with them. I'm out there to have fun and keep my old self in as good of shape as I can.
Ok, yes I also cut my ride short and drove like the house was on fire to get home and see todays stage of the Tour de France. John had emailed a teaser and said the stage was the best ever. I said so Lance got ticked and jumped out of the car and started racing again. He said, "I'd believe that before I would have beleived what I saw today." Oh baby, it was soooo good! Terri can't watch suspenseful things on TV. She has to get up and leave the room. I was getting that way tonight as I watched. I kept catching myself holding my breath! I'm not making it up.